staringontheedgeofsafe asked: Aw :( I wish I didn't just leave so suddenly. I have a habit of doing that. You were probably my favorite person to work with mostly because you were shy too lol. I'm gonna message you on facebook with my number so you can text me if you ever want someone to talk to (:
Aw that means a lot! :3 and okay!
staringontheedgeofsafe asked: No problem! I've been through enough heart break myself to know it's one of the worst things someone could feel and I don't like seeing people deal with it alone. I miss working with you too! That job was a lot of fun.
I was soooo sad when I heard that you were leaving HT :c
It’s been one week today since the best day of my life so far. Everything has changed since then. I’ve been a miserable wreck since Monday. I guess I should explain why.
It started a few weeks ago. I’ve known this guy since 2012 because he’s friends with one of my friends and I’d always see him at the mall. We really never talked before. A few weeks ago I decided to change that. We started talking and instantly had a connection. He told me I was perfect, he told me he liked me, he asked me to send him selfies so he could “fangirl” over my “beautiful face”. We talked everyday and all day. We skyped till 4 in the morning. We talked about cute stuff like hugs, kissing, cuddling, and plans for when we would hangout in the future. Last Sunday we went to the movies for a date. We saw the Purge: Anarchy and we shared a white cherry icee. I can’t even describe the butterflies this kid gave me. How his voice sounded so sweet, how I couldn’t stop glancing at his face. I just wanted to be close to him. I’ll admit I’m an awkward, quiet dumb ass in person. But it felt okay with him. We got into theater 19 and sat near the front. It was probably 20 minutes into the movie before any moves were made. For the first time in my life I actually made the first move. I looked at him and grabbed the arm of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. He smiled, and put his arm around me. I put my head on his shoulder and he laid his head on mine. We stayed like that for a bit. At this theater the arms of the chair go up. So eventually I moved the icee to the arm rest to his on his right and lifted the arm rest between us and then continued to cuddle. During the hunting ground scene he kissed me. And wow…. I’ve never been kissed like that before. I won’t get into detail. But I was pleasantly surprised when he bit my bottom lip gently. It made me smile like an idiot. We continued snuggling and watching the movie. When it was over we made out again while the credits rolled and I took two pictures of us. We finally got up and left because we were the last two in the theater and the cleaning guy was staring at us. When we got out of the theater he put his arm around my waist and then held my hand as we walked out of AMC. I held onto his arm while we walked to my car. I was so unbelievably happy. I drove him back to his place after we got lost and had to drive to the mall so he could direct me to his house. We sat in my car in his parking lot for 30-45 minutes. We kissed a lot and he gave me hickeys and he bit my lip again. We talked and he let me use his vape pen. I’ll leave out some other details. I thought that our date went so well that I was confident enough to ask him if he wanted to ask me something. He told me he had just gotten out of a long relationship and he didn’t want to jump into another relationship too soon. He asked me if I was disappointed and I said “no”. I was a little but I understood his situation and wanted to respect his decision. He kissed me before he got out of the car and told me to be careful and not to die when I drove home. I got home and texted him and he told me that he really liked me but he wanted to take things slow. I was fine with that and went to sleep. I woke up on Monday to see that he had posted on his twitter that he was “really feeling like this was a mistake”. He said that trying to date again so soon was a mistake. He told me he still had feelings for his ex before his last relationship. He stated again that he wanted to take things slow with me because he did really like me. We didn’t talk Tuesday or Wednesday… I decided to go to sleep early on Wednesday. When I woke up Thursday I saw that he posted on his twitter that he had sent his ex a heartfelt message. All of his friends responded with “I hope it works out!” And stuff like that. I saw that after that he said that he was extremely happy. I decided that night at work I’d act like the adult that I sadly am and ask him how it went. He responded by sending me a screenshot of her response and that they were going to get close again and go slow and that he really hoped that they would get back together. And I haven’t talked to him since…. And now I’m left with the memory of our date and everything he ever said to me. I feel this empty space he left in me. It’s consuming me. And this is why I’ve been single for two years. Because there’s always someone better than me… Because I’ll never be good enough for anyone that I fall for. I’m done.